Dialog...

Recently I was involved in a tense discussion with someone. We were on somewhat opposite sides in discussing how to deal with situation. At one point the statement was made “You don’t have a doctorate in psychology so…” While that statement is 100% correct, it had no bearing, no merit & served no purpose in solving the problem we were discussing. The person who said it was going into defense mode and the substance of what we were discussing became lost. The conversation turned personal.

If I actually did have a doctorate in psychology, a person in this kind of situation would simply have said “Just because you have a Doctorate in psychology doesn’t mean…”

More often than not, I’m finding myself asking the question, what happened to open dialog? I see it, watch it & hear it happening daily, intense, important conversations that need to be had, disintegrating into meaningless nothing. It seems like the more important the topic, the more personal the comments become. People become so embroiled in winning at all cost, that they forget what the point of the conversation actually was.

It’s the cause of the political divisiveness our country is in and it has become a part of our culture. We get so caught up in the ‘How’, that we forget about the ‘Why’

I watched it happen almost a decade ago as the clergy abuse crisis evolved in Boston. People couldn’t understand how I could sit in a room with someone who I was total at total opposite ends with. It was insulting to them that I’d even consider it. I see it happening today as the clergy abuse scandal continues to unfold.

I don’t have to agree with a person, to sit and have a discussion with them about what needs to be done. Honestly, I’d rather sit and have an intense discussion with someone I may disagree with, than sit in a room full of people that simply nod their heads. Open dialog about tough topics are the only way that progress can be made. General protests and protestors have their value. Anger has its value. It seems like we’ve forgotten that open direct dialog has a value as well. You don’t have to like a person to sit across a table from them, open up dialog & get something accomplished. Kennedy found that out with Khrushchev, Regan found it out with Gorbachev.

As a survivor, for over a decade I’ve tried to raise the awareness of an ugly subject and bring about positive change. Open, direct, engaging & constructive dialog is the one thing that is going to continue to move this football down the field. I’m choosing to do that, instead of watching from the sidelines or sitting on the bleachers and shouting. It was my choice a decade ago, it’s my choice today.

GMB.